lost for words

Today I can´t stop thinking about what I saw last night.

I am still in shock.

Last night driving back in a combi van to Parada de Lucas we drove past two dead bodies lying in the street.  I hadn´t seem them at first but one of the passengers was shouting to the driver to warn him and to tell him to drive faster.

I couldn´t believe it, I still can´t.

At first I thought no, maybe they are just asleep.  I know that sounds childish and was probably my way of coping with the reality I was faced with, but I can´t tell you the amount of times I have seen people sleeping rough, randomly in the middle of the pavement.

I think what shocks me the most is people´s reactions, or more, lack of reaction.  They are so used to death, violence, gangs and guns that I feel like they don´t even blink when they see something like this.  I said this to Bea´s God father who thank God was accompanying us home after the ceremony.    He said to me that this is the reality that they live in, that they know that this is always a risk.  Hell, I know it is always a risk but it doesn´t mean it doesn´t shock the hell out of me when I do see it.

I am also starting to understand more and more why people here don´t leave Parada de Lucas.  Here things are controlled and  Bea and her God father told me they wouldn´t see something like that where we live.  Where we saw the body was part of another town nearby but there it´s like no mans land it seems.

 I have always had a special love for Brazil but I can´t deny that I am seeing the worst side of this country.   The gritty, harsh, violent reality that so many live in and are unable to escape from.