love hate relationship

Yesterday I had a love hate relationship with Rio. 


One cant deny the beauty of this city and the kindness of its people, but after a trip to the city police station last night I felt like nothing more than jumping on a plane home.

After days and various trips we finally sorted out all the paperwork needed for Bea´s insurance and headed to the police station to report the incident.  We were sat waiting for over an hour and the people coming in all had depressing stories; a young student who had had been robbed at gun point, another man who had been robbed at gun point in broad daylight outside the airport, another man who had been forced at gun point to draw money out of his account etc. etc. These were the just the victims. I then saw three young adolescents brought in and one cop shout to the other if they had the bags of cocaine. These boys were no more than 16 years old. 

Then came the interview.  The man treated me like I was a complete idiot. He asked Bea if I speak Portuguese to which I myself replied yes, yet he continued to ask her questions about me...even though I continued to answer them! He then, upon inspecting my drivers license, started questioning me with a tone that was really starting to irritate me about if I was a member of the church and if my drivers license was in fact not official I.D but church I.d.   I was almost laughing at how ridiculous these questions were when he said, as though he had full proof I was a liar...well why does it say "miss" here then? Whilst this imbecile had clearly thought it was miss for missionary I explained it was in actual fact because I am yet to find the Spaniard of my dreams to marry. Ok,, well maybe not in those exact words.

We were made to look through a book full of suspects with words like 'homicide', bank robbery´, mugging´ all written on them. I felt sick looking at it. So many very young faces. I also felt sick when Bea explained about the tissue incident and the policeman´s reaction of "Jesus" making me thank God once more.
Nearly three hours later we finally left.  I had plans to meet friends but I just didn't have any desire to party, I just wanted to go home. This was further reinforced when we were walking to a place nearby and got scared to walk down a road as there looked to be a few dodgy people. This nervousness was added to even more when we asked someone for directions and he said you can go that way but it´s a bit dangerous. I know Rio is dangerous in general but when someone specifically says that way is a bit dangerous its a risk I'd rather not take. We gave up and just got the bus home.  The whole way I couldn´t help feeling how I both love and hate this city.

Today I plan to go to the city to rekindle my love and get over my fear. I don´t want to be scared of this place and I want to enjoy the time I have here.   I also recognize that being in that police station was like being in a hospital - being confronted with things you wouldn't t normally be as conscious of.  I want to believe that the other night was just wrong place, wrong time.

near death over.... tissues!!!??

So today I found out I hadn´t quite been fully aware of what happened the other night when I was robbed - clearly reflecting my not so hot Portuguese listening skills.

Apparently when we were robbed the other night I hadn´t heard the guy say "mobile" straight away and I had only handed over the money.  This looked like I was trying to avoid giving them what they wanted.  After they had taken our money and mobiles they started walking and at the same time as I fiddled with my bag a packet of tissues fell out.  I could see that the three people were looking our way and I got nervous thinking they were going to think that I had hidden something valuable, so shouted "it´s just a packet of tissues."  Looking back my tone probably wasn´t appropriate for the situation, as it was more of a, "they´re just tissues - are you going to take them away from me as well?!"  sort of tone.

It was apparently at this point that my friend wanted to kill me herself for speaking to them like that and also when the three of them turned around and the one with the gun asked his friends "can I shoot her?"  It must have been my lucky night because his friends said no and they carried on walking.  I know people have killed over less.

After the whole incident I was fairly calm about it all as as I said before, at the time it was non violent but after my friend told me this I was in a shock for a while.   I spent the day feeling guilty at what must have been going through Bea´s mind at this point and the fact that I was rather oblivious to it all and the potential danger I was putting us in.  Everyday I learn something here either about myself or the environment and today´s lesson was - in this kind of situation, you give them what they want and you keep your mouth shut.

the nicest people in the world

If there is one thing that has really struck me whilst being here in Brazil, it is the kindness and friendliness that I have been shown by Brazilian people.  I have already mentioned it briefly in previous blogs but this weekend it was all confirmed to me once more when I met the nicest couple ever.  Fact.

I was invited to a churrasco - a typically Brazilian barbecue on Saturday night in the favela with Ana, a previous volunteer and another friend Jose.  We were there several hours eating and drinking and got talking to a couple that live in the favela.  We spent all night chatting to them and then when the barbecue ended we walked home with them and they couldn´t resit inviting us in to their home.  We stayed for a bit and in such a short space of time I already felt unbelievable warmth for this couple.  As we were leaving they suggested we go for breakfast at their house in the morning.  We offered to each bring something with us because we are all aware that inviting four people for food is an expense for anyone, never mind here,  but they almost looked offended.

We turned up bright and early in the morning and we were offered a feast.  These people knew us from nothing and yet they treated us with such kindness.  They were telling us about how it´s hard to be parents in the favela and you have to keep an eye on your kids at all time because otherwise they can get mixed up in drugs, guns and teenage pregnancies - all big problems here.  They had also tried to assist several family members who were struggling to raise their children and it seems they run a bit of an open house - always trying to help.

We were given a tour of the house and the upstairs was built by the husband himself.  He said he used to get home at 8pm from work and build until 1 am.  It must have been a hell of a job but you could see how proud he was of the work he had done and the home they had created.  They were just such humble, lovely people.

I have been invited to go round whenever I like and I certainly won´t pass on an opportunity to see them again.  Ivone says she´s going to learn about the world through us as we are all from different countries.  I genuinely feel very lucky in the sense that wherever I seem to go in the world I meet absolutely lovely people and they are just another example of this.

I just can´t escape the guns

So it seems last night was my time to experience guns outside of the favela.  After a lovely meal and drinks out with a friend who offered to treat me and Bea (a friend from the favela) the night came to a disastrous end.

We left my friend to go to the bus stop, the irony being that we were telling him the Portuguese for "help" in case he got attacked.  A few more yards down the road, literally 2 mins from the bus stop where we needed to be, three people approached us.  I was a bit distracted at first as one minute beforehand a bus had driven past through a puddle and pretty much soaked me to the bone but as I looked at these people that had stopped us, I soon realized one was holding a gun.

There were two men and one woman and one of the men held the gun pointing at us and they told us to hand over our money, then they asked for our mobiles.  I´m glad to say that all I had was the equivalent of about 5 pounds - enough to get me and Bea home and I never take my expensive mobile out for the exact reason of what happened last night.  Unfortunately,  Bea had had her pockets searched by the woman as she wasn´t carrying a bag and they took her new mobile.

When I told people today I had been robbed at gun point people were shocked, horrified and telling me to come home.  But, in all honesty I am so used to seeing guns these days that that didn´t really shock or scare me.

Obviously being robbed is frustrating for anyone but what absolutely filled me with rage was the fact that they had taken from Bea who doesn´t have the money to replace things like a new mobile phone.  Bea is 19 and a very special person to me.  She´s not really sure what to do with her life and I am constantly trying to show her that there is more to life than Parada de lucas favela.  I was so pleased she was up for going for dinner and I hated them for spoiling our evening, for taking from someone who doesn´t have a lot and potentially changing her mind about coming to the city in the future.  My other main concern aside from her losing material possessions was what her mum´s reaction to all of this was going to be.  We were already late and I knew that if her mum knew we were robbed she wouldn´t let Bea into the city for a long time.

We ran to the police post  (located on the same road about 2 mins further up) in the hope that if we were quick they would be able to catch them and we could get our stuff back´, but no one was there.  A girl who we had warned in the street not to walk on her own came with us and she phoned the number given.  The police were not prepared to come to us and told us to go to the actual police station.  As this involved going back down the road where we had just been mugged and potentially bumping into the same people we thought it wasn´t worth the hassle.  That, and the fact that our bus was there and we didn´t want to be any later.  Luckily they bus driver let us on for free as neither of us had money to get home at this point.

I was so so angry last night.  Sometimes I feel like I over think things here and worry too much but if anything, last night I was too care free and I learnt that you can´t let your guard down here.  I always carry extra money outside of my purse so I can get home if I am robbed and last night I didn´t.  But hey ho, you learn from your mistakes and I know for the future about the area and about deserted Sundays in the city. And if there is one thing that was also confirmed last night it is that the police in this country really are useless!

Funk and fun in the favela

Well today marks one month since I first arrived here. It was a bit of a shaky start but now I feel fully settled into the favela and already freaking out at the thought that it could all end in December.  I am starting to feel at home here and lately I have had some real fun not just in Rio city centre but also here in Parada de Lucas.

A few weeks ago I was invited to a first birthday party.  1st and 13th birthdays are a big deal here and I heard that people go all out so I was quite interested to go to my first Brazilian party.  I could not get over the effort that was made for this party.  I mean let´s be honest, the kid is not going to remember the event!  Nonetheless, there were three floors of fun to be had.  The first floor had all the made up tables where I pretty much spent most of the evening and was supplied non stop with food and beer (that´s my kind of party).  There was also a DJ and a projector playing kid´s songs and videos.  The second floor consisted of this huge balloon and animal themed montage which was just incredible.  The cake was like a wedding cake and there was a whole cutting the cake moment to be had at the end.  On the third floor they had hired a trampoline, ball pool, swing...you name it they had it type set up.  I mean I just couldn´t get over it.  Apparently Neuza said people just go over the top these days and end up spending thousands of Reais (which I´m sure they must have done as well!)  on their credit cards as people here cannot afford these type of luxuries.  I was shocked at the amount of stuff they had given that the first day I met the birthday boy was when he and his grandma came into the community centre to ask for clothes!

On Saturday we had a party here at CIACAC to celebrate it being open 11 years.  It was lots of fun, if not a bit chaotic.  The night before some friends had come to stay that were going to help with the party so we decided we would check out the favela funk party. Funk not being what most people would think of as funk, but more rap with a beat that could drive you insane! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFeWHuL7BUI.  Please see this link to fully understand what I mean about the beat!

I had been told more or less what to expect in terms of the dancing but I don´t think I was quite prepared for the overall atmosphere and impact.  I´m still processing it all to this day.  It was ´day of the children´ here so the funk party was more for them as the bandidos had thrown a party and were giving out lots of presents.  Kids were coming out of the school grounds where the party was full to the brim with presents! The baile funk as they are called here are parties that are put on every weekend by the bandidos.  This is where they go to have a good time as essentially they are prisoners in the favela.  They have their agreement with the police that they are allowed to continue their drug dealing, but their faces are known and they are not allowed to go outside the boundaries of the favela.  We as foreigners and volunteers can go to these parties but again, the classic rule of don´t stare.  Many people go to these dances and mum´s even take their children.  We got there and I don´t even know where to start with what it was like.  The smell of people smoking weed was potent, the music was obscene and little girls were dancing like strippers or worse and singing these horrendous lyrics.  Not a place in any shape or form for young children....ever.

On Sunday after spending the day inside due to dull English style weather Bea and I decided to go for a walk.  We stumbled upon a free concert of a fairly famous Brazilian artist and a baile funk of the old kind in the sister favela next door.  Old kind being when the lyrics wern´t just pure filth about women but about good music to dance to, so I´m told.  The concert was fun and a woman from the favela next door got talking to me and ended up offering me a beer.  That open Brazilian style I love about people here.  Afterwards we went to a pago-funk which means a live band first and then the horrible funky music.  There were a lot more armed men at this one and at one point a van turned up with about ten armed men in.  I was like I´m sorry are we at war or at a party?

The irony of these baile funky is that you can go there and dance pretty much like a whore but if the bandidos catch you kissing someone, they will tell you off and tell you that that kind of thing is not done here, which is exactly what was done with a previous volunteer.  There are so many teenage mums here as well that again it just all seems a bit ridiculous   It also makes me sick that the bandidos gave out so many presents as if they were good people and helping children when they put them in danger everyday and use children to run errands and start them on this trail of destruction.  It is also ironic that there is a police station within metres of the entrance into the favela but they only appear here to collect their bribe.  I know the day I see the police in the favela is the day I will run home because they are who scare me most within here.





painting hair, gun, surreal

The fun begins...

So I know it´s been a while since I last wrote a post.  That is partly due to my laptop going for a swim in my flooded flat and breaking and also that my weekends have been pretty action packed but now I´m back online and full of stories to tell!

Soooo where to start....second weekend was just what I needed to clear my head form my first week of culture shock.  Elisa and I went to a place called Ilha Grande, an island off the coast of Rio.  I have been there before and I am glad to say that this time I wasn´t rescued by the military!   There was no torrential rain and the sun was shining!

This place is basically like paradise and after a few weeks in the favela I certainly appreciated it.  We went on a trek one day for three hours to get to this beautiful sandy beach.  Obviously a stop at the bar in the middle of the sea was a must.  You basically have to whistle and the guy pulls the rope with the boat attached to take you to the bar.  I had a lovely few days there and felt refreshed for life back in the favela.  I was sure reminded it was life in the favela when I got back as there was a power cut.

Something that was on my list last time I was here but never got the chance to do was go to a boat party.  It was four hours of music, views of the Sugar Loaf, the Cristo and the centre of Rio at night all accompanied by a cold capirinha.  Can´t get a better party than that really can you!?

Another  highlight for me has been the moto tour I did!  I am now obsessed with going on motobikes!  My first time was heading up to see Ana´s house, as she lives at the top of a hill and it is so steep that there are always moto-taxis waiting at the bottom.  I mentioned to a friend that I loved it so at the weekend he took me on a tour to see the project he runs in his favela and then all around Rio.  We went to the Sugar Loaf and climbed Urca to the top, then to a place to see the Cristo, then another view point to see Ipanema.  Sooo mcuh fun!

what doesn´t kill you makes you stronger

Well I´ve been here a good few weeks now and slowly but surely I am starting to settle in.  I am still having a lot of ups and downs - downs including waking up to find my laptop in a pool of water because the flat had flooded from the rain (corregated iron roof not the best).  However, I am starting to get a routine together and constantly trying to look on the positive side of things.  I think now more than ever the saying "What doesn´t kill you makes you stronger is true."  Although at times I find things hard, this is undoubtedly the experience of a lifetime and I try to remind myself of this most days.  I also love this kind of experience because it gives me a different perspective on things and makes me genuinely greatful for the small things in life. Having a mum that woke me up every day and gave me a routine and parents that constantly motivated me to do better is something I now value more than ever...that and a hot power shower!

 Part of my routine now includes going to a church in the next village for gym class in the mornings.  It´s just for an hour with mainly older women but it´s get me up in the morning.  At the end we have to pray which is a bit weird but anyway!  I also have made a friend to practice my not-improving-as-fast as I would like Portuguese.  We walk to the next village speaking in Portuguese and on the way back he gets to practice his English.

I tend to go to Instituto Cervantes on a Friday or Monday as I don´t work then and it is my haven.  Resources, peace and quiet, a fast computer and if I go to the terrace I have a view of the Christo statue - bliss.  At the weekends I try to get out of the favela and explore the city a bit more.  Last week I did a walking tour of the city.  I was trying to find the meeting point and after being giving several different directions I decided to ask a man outside a navy museum.  Turned out he was an admiral and was waiting for some V.I.P to arrive. I asked for directions etc. and after explaining I probably wasn´t going to make it he told me to wait a moment.  He came back and said an official car was going to take me to the meeting point.  Needless to say I travelled in comfort and made it on time!

That is one thing I have to say about Brazilians, they are so willing to help and seem very protective.  I´ve had people give me their numbers or email addresses after 5 mins of speaking to them, saying if I need anything then let them know, as well as people accompanying me to bus stops when I haven´t known where they are.  In a city where I don´t always feel that safe it´s nice to know people are so willing to be kind.

Things that happen in the favela contine to fascinate, surprise and worry me.  Last week in the favela a family cut a tree down that was in front of their house.  As is common to do here they then threw it into the canal (read: sewer).  The canal is the local dustbin it seems.  If you have food left over, rather than throw it in the bin people throw it in the river.  Poeple throw everything in there.  Anyways, it turned out that the "bandidos" as they are called here used this tree to lean on, hide behind etc. at night and they were less than impressed by it being cut down without permission.  They forced the family to go down into the river and fish the tree out as a way of humiliating and punishing them.  I´m just glad I wasn´t there to witness it.